he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
