dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
