Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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