she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
