i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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