Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
