margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
