Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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