hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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