let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
