Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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