Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
