You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
