my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
