Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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