Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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