I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
