Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Less talking, more tequila
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
