I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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