hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
