Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
