What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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