maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's like God shit irony all over that family
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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