I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
