I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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