drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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