You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
