My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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