Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
