I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
