just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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