Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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