I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
