Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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