Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
