Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
