just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
