I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
