I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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