hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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