she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
