he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
