from now on my penis is your penis
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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