and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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