I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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