He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
