Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
