so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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