why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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