I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
