I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I currently don't understand fingers.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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