Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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