New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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