There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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